Bill Guerin is sending a message!!!

Since the NHL established the 7 game Stanley Cup Final format 70 years ago (1938-39 season), there have been 14 game 7s. The Red Wings, being one of the original 6, had the opportunity to experience 6 final series that went the distance during the 40s, 50s & 60s. They walked away from those series controlling Lord Stanley’s Cup three times. A grand accomplishment for a team that comprised of 1/6 of the league.

This year’s game 7 would be their 7th…..Dammit, where is Alanis Morrisette when you need her? I have a feeling the return to Joe Louis Arena for game Seven will be less like heaven for Detroit and more like, let’s say…..Se7en.

Expect the following 10 things to take place:

1. Hank Zetterberg to continue molesting Sid the Kid as well as illegally covering up pucks around and on top of Chris Osgood’s back.

2. Pavel Datsyuk to be interviewed during the first intermission about the condition of his injured foot. His response will be without sub titles and thus no one will understand a word that comes out of this mouth. Sort of like the Russian Jackie Chan.

3. After many sleepless nights, a search party will finally locate Marian Hossa. He will celebrate by scoring a goal in the 2nd period.

4. Geno will eat his mother’s Bulsvch soup…..resulting in another multi-point game.

5. Fleury’s new nickname will be Yahweh, after he single handily saves Pittsburgh season while stopping 7 shots during another back to back power play advantage for the Red Wings.

6. 30 Seconds to Mars will perform during the 2nd intermission, Hank Zetterberg will be no where to be found…alluding to the fact that he may actually be Jared Leto.

7. Dan Bylsma will make a facial expression for a split second during the 3rd period.

8. Max Talbot will hand Mike Babcock a cardboard box. As he reluctantly opens it up to discover Kris Draper’s beard, he painfully decides to shoot Talbot. As the credits roll the audience understands that one can lose his soul, even in claiming victory.

9. We will discover that Don Cherry is actually a Transformer....he will morph into a bright orange tumbleweed with purple stripes and roll away. (3rd Don Cherry reference for the blog)

10. After losing his second career finals Game 7 (lost to the NJ Devils in ’02-’03 while coaching the Anaheim Mighty Ducks) Coach Mike Babcock will be forced to write “I will not quack at the principal” 500 times on the chalkboard in the locker-room.