Today we salute you, Mr. Donte Lamar Stallworth (drunk driving murderer!) A wide-out who wipes out jail sentences in a single blank check... in times when those who pay your salary would opt to take their foot off the gas to avoid killing a human being… you lay down the lead foot and pop the tab on your ice cold Bud Light. (reckless abandonment!)
Pushing the limits of both your Blood Alcohol Level as well as the odometer on your tricked-out, tank-like Bentley sedan… you take aim by simultaneously obliterating brain cells and whatever road object may stand in your way…especially human beings. Instead of wishing you could go back in time, you hide under the warm & cozy safety blanket that is the NFL contract. (Great Scott, Marty!!)
The Judicial System will ask if you killed a dog or a human being…a thought provoking question that will undoubtedly determine the severity of your sentence. Of course it does. At this point the only math lesson you understand is Dog = 2-1/2 years, Man = 30 days. (thank you, Mr. Vick!)
So crack open another ice cold Bud Light in the back of your limo and boastfully push out your tattooed chest, you negligent drunken motorist…. for you put the “shit” in “shit-head”.
(Mr. Donte Lamar Stallworth, drunk driving shit head, murdering motorist!!!!)
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