Tuesday, June 30, 2009

US 2 – Brazil 3

The aftermath of the Confederations Cup final seems to have spawned an overall reaction of ‘They showed they can compete, they can build on this’ to the efforts of the US side. I’m not here to put too much of a damper on that sentiment, but in throwing the Fifth’s hat into the ring of the soccer blogosphere, I’m going to offer a much more tempered point of view.

I, of course, agree that they showed a lot of promise scoring 7 goals over their last three games - including four against 2 of the top five teams in the world – and it’s been a lack of exactly that type of offensive output that has plagued this squad up to this point. Additionally, the combo of DeMerit and Onyewu anchoring the back line seemed a steady, calming force for a defense that had given up more than its share of shaky goals of late. Finally, and I think most importantly, Landon Donovan rose to the occasion on the big stage in a way that he hasn’t since the 1-0 quarterfinal loss against Germany in Ulsan 7 years ago in the 2002 World Cup. If he continues his emergence, the national team has a centerpiece to their attack that has been lacking in recent memory.

That being said, this team is weakest in the most important layer, the midfield. Bradley seems to have found Donovan a permanent position as an attacking outside mid, but his choice to play Dempsey in a similar role on the opposite side is a little vexing, especially as Brazil launched assault after second half assault along the sidelines with Kaka and Robinho. The not-so-defensively-inclined Dempsey and Donovan were exposed in last 45 minutes of Sunday’s game, and it was curious that nothing was done about it. Dempsey scored goals in both the Egypt and Spain games from as a striker, I simply don’t understand why he can’t play there full time. Kaka abused him time and again along the left side and, while Spector held his own admirably against the Brazilian for most of the match, the worn down right back was eventually bested as Kaka’s cross was the crucial play leading to the tying goal.

In fact, I felt that tying goal really underscored what is plaguing this team right now. Taken independently, isolated from the rest of the game, the goal was a result of a blown one-on-one as Kaka beat Spector, followed by poor (is poor strong enough?) marking of not one but three Brazilian attackers at the six yard box, which clearly falls on the shoulders of DeMerit and Onyewu. It seemed to be a complete breakdown of the back line. But, when looking at it from the bigger picture of that entire half, as well as most of the Spain game, a more keen observer would put such a goal on the midfielders. I’ve already said my piece on defensive prowess of the outside midfielders, but I should also point out that DeMerit and Onyewu were out of position largely because they were continually forced to press up and take away the area between the top of the box and about 25 yards out. This space, usually the charge of the center mids was left largely unprotected by Clark and Feilhaber (and by Bradley in the Spain game), who were continually chasing the game of the far more talented Brazilian mid field. I don’t see the squad day in and day out, so I don’t know who Coach Bradley has to work with, but without a stronger presence in the center of the field, our defense will continue to face the type of pressure that they eventually wilted against in the second half on Sunday. I don’t have all of the statistics from the last two games handy, but I do know that Spain had 16 corner kicks to our 3 (16 to 3!!!), to go along with a 29-9 advantage in shots. Similarly, Brazil had 10 corners to our 5, and possessed the ball for 60% of the match, including long stretches in their attacking third. They also outshot the US 31 to 9. The story of possession and sustained offensive pressure begins and ends with the midfielders, and ours need to improve, simple as that.

Again, I agree that there are many positive to be taken from teams performance in the final 3 games of the tournament, but the fact remains that teams who count themselves among the upper echelon do not cede two goal leads in 45 minutes. Call me selfish, but I want to see the US counted among that echelon someday and they have a ways to go before that becomes a reality.

US 2 – Spain 0 (I wrote this last Thursday, but forgot to post it)

Lots of rhetoric about how last Wednesday’s win over Spain was as big for the nation as 1980’s Miracle on Ice. Please. Give me a break. Last I checked, every player on the field was a professional and we aren’t currently locked in a nuclear arms race with the Spanish. Further significance was added to that game by the off ice climate. I’m not saying this recent win by the soccer squad wasn’t huge…it was. But it’s ok for us to acknowledge the importance of a victory without comparing it to what was arguably the biggest upset in sports history and what doubled as an allegory for the triumph of American Capitalistic Individualism over the Soviet Machine. I know in this day and age of 24/7 sports coverage every win has to be the most important ever, every new sports villain is the most evil ever, and every promising prospect is the next greatest thing, but resorting to this type of hyperbole not only diminishes the importance of past events, it undermines whatever point you’re trying to make about the present.

On Wednesday, the US beat the #1 team in the world. Let that soak in for a second and don’t let it be corrupted a jubilant Al Michaels asking about your belief in the divine. It’s an incredible thing in and of itself. Yes, Spain didn’t play their best game. Yes, most soccer fans will tell you that they can’t remember another Confederations Cup champion and that this tournament doesn’t really matter. But the US just beat a squad that hadn’t been beaten in 15 straight games. They did it off of American soil. This was a great win, period. It isn’t the World Cup, and a big win like this won’t ever reach Miracle on Ice proportions until it happens on the biggest stage, but let’s give the boys their due. I only hope they can continue it against Brazil (probably, unless the home team pulls an upset) on Sunday.

And yes, I stand on a soapbox to make myself feel taller.

Thought I’d try to comment on each of the US squad that saw significant minutes in the last three games listed by position from goalie to forward.

Tim Howard – Save after save, again and again. Shots came screaming in near and far and Howard stopped nearly all of them. If we’re being honest he’s the only reason the US makes it to the game against Brazil. There aren’t many goalies as athletic as Howard. In fact, I think it’s safe to say that Time Howard is the most athletic goalie in history… that has Tourrette’s.

Carlos Bocanegra – The captain wasn’t in play against Egypt, but was fairly solid in his time against Spain and Brazil. My only real complaint was that he seems a bit on the slow side, though he’s able to make up for this with a high soccer IQ.

Jay DeMerit – I have to admit that I havne’t followed the team enough to know who this guy was, but I like the full arm tat, and I like that he stays home in the middle of the backfield. He got a bit unlucky when Brazil’s first goal slipped between his legs and he screened howard, and he seemed a bit out of position through some of the second half pressure, but I felt he and Onyewu were really left on an island by their midfield.

Jonathan Spector – Another guy who surprised me. He’s really what you’re looking for in an outside back. He has decent size and ok speed, he’s steady marking a runner down the wing with or without the ball and he can contribute offensively as exemplified by smart balls played out of the back and beautiful crosses on assists to Dempsey against Egypt and then Brazil.

Oguchi Onyewu – Gooch is the rock the defense rests on getting to every ball that comes near him. He must have cleared 15 or 20 dangerous crosses out of the box by himself in the last two games. He still seems to be out of position from time to time, but he puts himself out there all game, every game. The man is a force with which to be reckoned.

Benny Feilhaber – I wanted to make sure and list him, since he was a key substitution in the Spain game and started for the red-carded Bradley against Brazil. I thought he had a little bit of good and a little bit of bad. His stints as a late sub on the outside of the midfield against Egypt and Spain had me thinking quite highly of him, but he really seemed out of place in the center against Brazil. Perhaps he’d be best on the outside of the midfield when Bradley reads this column and pushes Dempsey up front full time.

Michael Bradley – His energy and presence was sorely missed in the center of the field on Sunday. I share the sentiment of most that he didn’t deserve a red for his cleats up challenge against Spain, but the referees had been harsh on the US all tournament and he needs to recognize that before doing something to foolish. That being said, Bradley is the quintessential ‘glue guy’. He never leaves an ounce of effort unspent, gets timely goals, and frustrates the opposition’s midfielders.

Ricardo Clark – He always goes fairly unnoticed in these games. His game isn’t flashy, and he’s mostly charged with holding down the center of the field defensively while Bradley runs rampant. There’s something to be said for playing an understated, underappreciated game, but you don’t win many games if the announcers aren’t saying the name of your center midfielder much. Clark rarely seems to join the attack in any significant way, and his tendency to hang back and react won’t work against most attacking midfields.

Clint Dempsey – I don’t know what to say here. He seems to be having a love affair with most American soccer fans, and after his spectacular header against Egypt, it’s hard to argue that he doesn’t belong on the field. And that was before the clincher against Spain and the first strike against Brazil. My beef with Clint has been, and will likely continue to be, his lack of responsibility in the other half of the field. As a midfielder, you are expected to cover the 100 meters. The problem isn’t that he can’t play defense, it’s that he shows far less interest in front of his own goal than he does inside the opponent’s 18. Take the final goal Sunday as evidence, if that corner is coming in giving Clint a chance to head it home for a goal, you’d better believe he’s sacrificing himself to get a piece of it. I love him for that. As it was, however, the play was happening in the wrong half of the field and gave a half hearted effort, watching the ball sail over his head as ZZZ headed it home for the winning tally. I hate him for that. A few moments of brilliance do not excuse 80 minutes of dogging it if you are a midfielder. The man should play striker, his mentality is better suited for it.

Landon Donovan – Donovan was, game to game, the best non-goalie on the field for the US. Like I said above, we can only hope he’s finally put it all together. If he truly has, I like our chances to score on nearly anyone, which means we’ll be in every game. Like Dempsey, however, I’d like to see a bit more effort in the defensive zone.

Conor Casey – It’s never a good sign when you’re friend texts you to ask how Fred Durst managed to make the US national team. I don’t understand why this guy sees any playing time. He doesn’t have top end speed, nor does he possess the ball particularly calmly. And he certainly doesn’t chase down defenders with abandon, despite the fact that he only plays 10 minutes a game max. He’s more like that slow, fat, old guy you put at striker because he’s too much of a liability anywhere else. I’m going to go ahead and give him the LVP trophy for the Confederations Cup.

Charlie Davies – Tough to criticize a kid who plays as hard as Davies. He scored a great hustle goal against Egypt and played a beautiful ball across the top of the box to Donovan on the second goal against Brazil. He still largely lacks touch and, right now, has zero chance of beating anyone off the dribble. He’s incredibly fast, but fast isn’t good enough on it’s own at this level. You need a forward who can either hold the ball up, or can beat guys off the dribble, and Davies can do neither. He does have immense potential, however, and that speed of his suits the counter attacking style that Coach Bradley seems to be relying on.

Jozy Altidore – I think he’s one of the most promising young players for the US. He’s a physical specimen, and he’s only 19. Like Davies, he lacks many of the attributes you look for in a true striker, but he has room yet to mature and develop many of those skills. I think some combination of two of Altidore, Dempsey, and Brian Ching (if healthy), with the third from that group and Davies available off the bench represents our best attacking option.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Bottom of the Fifth presents, Real Men of Genius….(Real Men of Genius!)

Today we salute you, Mr. Donte Lamar Stallworth (drunk driving murderer!) A wide-out who wipes out jail sentences in a single blank check... in times when those who pay your salary would opt to take their foot off the gas to avoid killing a human being… you lay down the lead foot and pop the tab on your ice cold Bud Light. (reckless abandonment!)

Pushing the limits of both your Blood Alcohol Level as well as the odometer on your tricked-out, tank-like Bentley sedan… you take aim by simultaneously obliterating brain cells and whatever road object may stand in your way…especially human beings. Instead of wishing you could go back in time, you hide under the warm & cozy safety blanket that is the NFL contract. (Great Scott, Marty!!)

The Judicial System will ask if you killed a dog or a human being…a thought provoking question that will undoubtedly determine the severity of your sentence. Of course it does. At this point the only math lesson you understand is Dog = 2-1/2 years, Man = 30 days. (thank you, Mr. Vick!)

So crack open another ice cold Bud Light in the back of your limo and boastfully push out your tattooed chest, you negligent drunken motorist…. for you put the “shit” in “shit-head”.

(Mr. Donte Lamar Stallworth, drunk driving shit head, murdering motorist!!!!)

Friday, June 12, 2009

Bill Guerin is sending a message!!!


Since the NHL established the 7 game Stanley Cup Final format 70 years ago (1938-39 season), there have been 14 game 7s. The Red Wings, being one of the original 6, had the opportunity to experience 6 final series that went the distance during the 40s, 50s & 60s. They walked away from those series controlling Lord Stanley’s Cup three times. A grand accomplishment for a team that comprised of 1/6 of the league.

This year’s game 7 would be their 7th…..Dammit, where is Alanis Morrisette when you need her? I have a feeling the return to Joe Louis Arena for game Seven will be less like heaven for Detroit and more like, let’s say…..Se7en.


Expect the following 10 things to take place:


1. Hank Zetterberg to continue molesting Sid the Kid as well as illegally covering up pucks around and on top of Chris Osgood’s back.


2. Pavel Datsyuk to be interviewed during the first intermission about the condition of his injured foot. His response will be without sub titles and thus no one will understand a word that comes out of this mouth. Sort of like the Russian Jackie Chan.


3. After many sleepless nights, a search party will finally locate Marian Hossa. He will celebrate by scoring a goal in the 2nd period.


4. Geno will eat his mother’s Bulsvch soup…..resulting in another multi-point game.


5. Fleury’s new nickname will be Yahweh, after he single handily saves Pittsburgh season while stopping 7 shots during another back to back power play advantage for the Red Wings.


6. 30 Seconds to Mars will perform during the 2nd intermission, Hank Zetterberg will be no where to be found…alluding to the fact that he may actually be Jared Leto.


7. Dan Bylsma will make a facial expression for a split second during the 3rd period.


8. Max Talbot will hand Mike Babcock a cardboard box. As he reluctantly opens it up to discover Kris Draper’s beard, he painfully decides to shoot Talbot. As the credits roll the audience understands that one can lose his soul, even in claiming victory.


9. We will discover that Don Cherry is actually a Transformer....he will morph into a bright orange tumbleweed with purple stripes and roll away. (3rd Don Cherry reference for the blog)


10. After losing his second career finals Game 7 (lost to the NJ Devils in ’02-’03 while coaching the Anaheim Mighty Ducks) Coach Mike Babcock will be forced to write “I will not quack at the principal” 500 times on the chalkboard in the locker-room.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Game 3 Simmons Style Running Diary

5:49:37 PM  Just got home from work (late bus, bad traffic).  Just in time to catch Sid missing a golden opportunity on a turnover during a Pens power play followed by a monster Letang slap shot!  2-2

 

5:51:03 PM  Franzen is getting abused!  He got caught cheating on Tanger’s PP goal, and now he takes a bad penalty.  Pens power play.

 

5:52:05 PM  Bylsma is sporting the dark shirt/light tie combo…love that.

 

5:53:52 PM  End of the 1st.  I guess we’ll get one second of power play to start off the 2nd.  All in all, not a horrible power play, but I would have liked to see a little bit more possession in the offensive zone.

 

5:54:40 PM  I wish I hadn’t missed the first 15 minutes of the period…I still don’t know how Detroit scored their goals or how the Pens got on the board with their first.

 

5:55:33 PM  Seriously, how many people care about the greatest featherweight MMA fight in history?  Actually, on second thought, probably about as many that care about this game.

 

5:56:24 PM  Just figured out that the game’s being broadcast on CBUT (Canadien TV).  This is one of the greatest things about living near the Canadien border.  Their broadcast is superior in so man ways to Versus.  The production is so amatuer, but their studio guys are knowledgeable and don't really hold anything back.  Most importantly, between periods we get Coach’s Corner with Don Cherry , which is about to start.

 

5:57:38 PM  Was anyone else disappointed to find out that “G” was just rebranded Gatorade?

 

5:58:18 PM  Cherry’s showing off his tie after the commercial break.  Red background, covered in classic Disney characters (Pluto, Mickey, etc…)  All held in place by a Canadien Mountie tie clip.  Classic.

 

6:12:30 PM  Wow, just saw a replay of the too many men on the ice situation prior to Letang's goal... was that ever a break.  Thankfully, Eaton got off before the refs noticed. 

 

6:13:59 PM  Beginning of the 2nd.  Cooke just gave Kronwall a nice taste of the glass. Personally, I’d like to Kronwall taken down a few more times.

 

6:15:26 PM  With the Crosby detractors out in force after his pointless efforts in Games 1 and 2, I think it’s safe to say that Detroit coach Mike Babcock is a believer in his greatness.  Crosby has routinely been surrounded by Wings, notably Lidstrom and Zetterberg.

 

6:16:55 PM  What another break!!  Samuelson off the post!  Looked like a bad change by the Pens, but they have to do a better job maintaining possession in the neutral zone, or at least dumping the puck, to prevent that.

 

6:19:15 PM  Pens D seems to be doing a decent job of preventing multiple chances on Fleury.  Something the CBUT crew has been praising Detroit for in previous games. 

 

6:20:42 PM  Just as we Pens fans enjoyed superior backchecking by our forwards in the Eastern Conference playoffs, this Detroit team is really great at team defense.  I mean Sid and Geno are great at playing the entire length of the ice…but, to a man, the Red Wings forwards get back with as much verve as they attack the net.  That’s really been one of the differences in this series.

 

6:22:57 PM  The much maligned Kris Letang is looking pretty good since I’ve been watching.  One goal, one assist and several good plays in both ends. 

 

6:24:20 PM  Bud Light Lime…now available in Canada.  Really?  Hasn't that been around for years?  I guess Canadians prefer to drink bad Canadian beer over bad Mexican beer.  I love watching Canadian commercials.

 

6:26:45 PM  Gill looks slow.  Hossa blew by him a second ago, and another Wing I don’t recognize toasted him going around the goal.

 

6:30:20 PM  Is it appropriate to show a Taking of Pelham 123 trailer on Canadien television?  Do they even know what subways are?  I mean, they only just got Bud Light Lime recently.

 

6:35:13 PM  How does Fleury routinely stop shots he can’t see?  I just don’t understand how this is possible.  CBUT just showed a shooter’s eye view of a slapper from the blue line from earlier in the period.  You can clearly see that Fleury has no view of the puck, but his right skate finds the shot as if by magic.  Incredible

 

6:38:11 PM  Satan got penalized with about 5 minutes left in the 2nd…probably because for being the Lord of Darkness.

 

6:39:59 PM  Oh no, just holding.  Looked pretty innocuous to me, actually, but I’m a huge homer.

 

6:41:16 PM  Floater hits the crossbar.  In games 1 and 2, that’s a Detroit goal.  Maybe the luck is changing a bit?

 

6:42:00 PM  Not to continue the Detroit love fest too blatently here, but how many teams in the NHL can afford to lose one of their best players (like Detroit did with Datsyuk) and still be in total control of a team as good as the Pens?

 

6:43:20 PM  Do we even stand a chance if Detroit has a healthy Dats?

 

6:44:22 PM  I hate to say it, but Detroit’s been dictating the play here since that penalty to Beelzebub.

 

6:45:14 PM  End of the 2nd period.  2-2.  Detroit really took it to us in that period.  We need to re coup here.

 

6:45:53 PM  I’d say Fleury’s kept us in this game so far.  Wonder where all the negative Pens fans are now…

 

6:47:43 PM  I can’t say enough about how different and bizarre Canadien commercials are.  Their Viagra commercials are tremendous.  Subway also seems to have an entirely different ad campaign for Canada (I guess the $5 footlong jingle didn’t jive with the Canucks).

 

6:50:22 PM  Gary Bettman’s being interviewed by Ron Maclean right now in a side by side format.  He keeps looking up and to his left (somewhere above and to the left of the camera) during his answers like he’s looking at poorly placed cue cards.  I guess he never got the memo that eye contact is important for job interviews (oh yeah, he clearly can’t do anything to lose his job).

 

6:56:36 PM  I just listened to Bettman bluster for 5 minutes about the Phoenix Coyotes and why they should stay put.  Setting the nuances of bankruptcy law aside, bottom line…why is it a bad move to move a hockey franchise from PhoenixArizona to Southern Ontario?  Someone tell me why it makes more financial sense to keep a hockey team in a desert city that doesn't care about hockey.  

 

6:58:31 PM  I like Maclean.  He doesn’t give anyone an inch when he thinks their full of it.  On Sunday He called out Cherry in their argument about steroid testing in the NHL (Cherry naively believes that there are no PEDs in the NHL, proven by the fact that they’ve only had one guy test positive).  Now he’s taking Bettman to task over this Phoenix thing.  Just a badgering interviewer.  I like it.

 

7:04:25 PM Start of the 3rd Period.  Let’s go Pens!

 

7:04:36 PM Another lost faceoff…shocking.

 

7:05:16 PM  Icing, Detroit.  Here come Sid and Malkin for the face off. 

 

7:05:57 PM  Sid wins the draw and the line immediately gets a couple of solid shots on goal.  This Pittsburgh crowd is deathly silent tonight, like they expect things to go wrong.  Come on folks, we’re in control here, let’s get loud!

 

7:07:12 PM  Couple more chances, including a backhand by Cooke in close.  Osgood is standing strong…unfortunately.

 

7:09:00 PM  The Pens are definitely on the wrong side of the team speed mismatch here, we really miss Hossa.

 

7:10:12 PM  That being said, Letang just dispossessed Hossa…again.

 

7:11:47 PM  Detroit’s backcheck foils the Pens yet again.  Why does it always seem like they are in the right place at the right time for almost every loose puck?

 

7:14:35 PM  I have no desire to see either Year 1 or Transformers…sorry Hollywood.

 

7:17:09 PM  Interference by the Wings.  Nice touch pass by Staal to dump it in, and the young Erricson held up Kunitz as he cruised across the blueline.

 

7:18:39 PM  No real shot or scoring chance yet on the power play.  So much for the poor penalty killing by the Wings.

 

7:19:15 PM  Gonchar with a monster slap shot!!!!!!!!!!!  3-2 Pens baby!!!  So much for my previous post.

 

7:20:42 PM  Crosby gets an assist on the Gonchar goal, so he’s finally off the Schneid.

 

7:21:06 PM  There’s the crowd!  Let’s go Pens!  8 more minutes.

 

7:21:35 PM  Darren Helm is taking a beating.  He was lit up by Orpik just a few minutes ago, and now Cooke tees off on him while he had his head down.  As Don Cherry would say.  What do I tell you kids?  Keep your head up so you can see those hits coming.

 

7:25:24 PM  “And here comes Cooke against Helm again!!”  These Canadien announcers are brutal, you can just hear them calling for blood.

 

7:27:09 PM  Kunitz has to score there.  Has to.  At least get the puck on the net.  Yet another missed assist for the Kid.  Is it too much to ask to get him a competent scoring winger?

 

7:27:55 PM  Talbot off the post!!

 

7:28:03 PM  Talbot stopped by a sprawling Osgood!!

 

7:28:58 PM  Just great energy by the Pens these last couple of minutes.  Amazing what a goal can do to change a game in this sport.

 

7:29:23 PM  Orpik is abusing Hossa!  Not in the sense that’s getting the better of him skill-wise but in the sense that Mike Lange abuses red-headed stepchildren.

 

7:32:13 PM  I really hope all those missed chances don’t come back to haunt us.

 

7:33:01 PM  Does it get any better in sports than an empty net in the last minute of a one goal hockey game?  I say it doesn’t.

 

7:33:51 PM  Empty netter by Talbot!!!! He deserved that.  He was everywhere on his last shift and had two golden chances, including the post.

 

7:34:53 PM  Token save by Fleury with 18 seconds left.  I’m still disappointed in the Pittsburgh crowd.

 

7:35:48 PM  That’s the ballgame.  What were the fans just chanting there?


7:36:09 PM  After getting outshot 14-4 in the 2nd, they outshot Detroit 10-3 in the 3rd and that includes that pansy shot there at the end, so really only two shots on net by the Wings in that period.  Great adjustments by Disco Dan.

 

7:36:53 PM  See everyone on Thursday…WOOOOO!!!!!

 

p.s. I’m pretty sure my neighbors must think I’m a maniac.  I’m loud as hell and vulgar as hell during any Pitt Panthers or Pens games.